shoe box of photographs.

Sky of blackness and sorrow
Sky of love, sky of tears
Sky of glory and sadness
Sky of mercy, sky of fear
Sky of memory and shadow
Your burden fills my arms tonight
Sky of lonely and emptiness
Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life











Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters,




... who never did,




...who won’t anymore,



...and who always will."

some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned...





first week of summer; not much to say. went back to work yesterday, so now i have to get used to actually waking up and doing things again, instead of sleeping until noon everyday. i might have a second job at poricy park. i'm still not done with Eat, Pray, Love, but almost. that book makes me want to travel the world and learn every language imaginable and go on pilgrimages to sacred places.

a few of my friends from home are travelling abroad this summer. i feel selfish because i want them to stay here while we waste time in red bank and at the beach, talking about high school and the upcoming election. on the other hand, i am SO happy that they are getting the opportunity to have these intercontinental experiences. maybe i was too lazy to even seriously research study abroad. but i feel like i'm just meant to stay put. i'm just as content travelling to a new park or beach that maybe i've never explored before, as i would be going to europe. heck, i'm perfectly content spending a week in the appalachian foothills without facebook or cell phone use.

i'm a little overanxious because i don't remember ever having this much free time since before i worked at target. or because i still think i have a curfew when really, i don't. oh, and my allergies are bad and i get headaches almost daily,

i also had a slight nervous breakdown because my grandma was taken to the hospital on saturday with chest pains and what not. ever since pop-pop, i just prepare myself for the worst. she's doing much better though now, thank God, and should be out on tuesday.

i just want to look back on this summer and not regret a single thing. money i spend on gas and food and wine and beach badges. drunken nights and text messages. driving around with no where to go. dinner parties. beach volleyball. spending my free time how i want.

 

i moved back home for the first time since august of 2006. we'll see how this adjustment to being at home all the time goes. i'll be going back and forth to school a few times for orientation, visiting people staying there for the summer, and whatnot, but i just want to spend as much time as possible with middletown people, even though we all seem to be doing our own thing. in terms of friends, i picked a bad summer to stay at school, but in terms of making a better future at school for myself, i think staying there last summer is part of the reason i didn't transfer and gave me a fresh perspective for the upcoming year.

i was an usher at Commencement yesterday. I did not get to see too many of my senior friends before i left, but i have such high hopes for them. One I did say hi/goodbye too is moving to Detroit at the end of the summer and becoming a Jesuit. One is working in Res Life starting over the summer. They're real, working adults now.

crazy.


i guess a little me time this summer can't hurt.